Courage is Not Without Fear

The myth is: eventually the fear will leave and as it exits your mind, courage will emerge and take over the void it leaves... that is a lie. Courage is not without fear... it is in the presence of it. It’s formed in the midst of the most terrifying part of the things we want to do.

I too often place fear and failure in the same jar because I am fearful of failing... that only translates into being fearful of succeeding. 

I started this blog to ignite a fire under the desire of black women, to do all of the things this world tells us we cannot do. I also started this blog to ignite a fire within myself, to do all of the things I’ve told myself I cannot do... I still haven’t broken through my own glass ceiling, so how could I expect to touch that which the world has placed over my head?

Success is not without expected failure... expected failure is not without courage... courage is not without fear. 

I’m sitting on the train on my way to work and ironically there’s a woman reading a book titled “Banish Your Inner Critic.” God has a way of speaking, LOL. I think I’m going to order that book and read it ASAP *runs to Amazon to purchase*.

It’s weird to be in a state of growth where the older I get the less I care about what people think of me while at the same time the more I care about how I’m perceived. I want to influence people and change lives... correction, I want to influence young black women and change their lives and the lives of those that influence them. I am on the precipice of greatness and as open as anyone that reads my blog may think I am, the truth is I have secrets like everyone else and I’m still afraid of being completely open to the world. 

Our world is filled with people afraid of acknowledging experiences that have molded the way they talk, walk, breathe, live, exist... why do we fear the truth? Because the world can’t handle our truth, and anything that isn’t accepted by them or “pretty” to them is then flipped back on us in a way it never should be. Girls are taught to walk through life a certain way and if we stray from that and something happens to us, it’s our fault. We’re told, we are to blame for the tragedies that attach themselves to us and our being, but tragedy is only one instance; how we allow life to unfold after that is within our control, however.. Be the captain of your ship and don’t let your tragedy write your story.

I happen to be a repeat offender of letting my testimony fester inside me and control the decisions I make moving forward and even hinder my success. Why? Because I’m lighter skinned on the black scale; I’m pretty; I grew up in a household with both parents; I went to college; I didn’t fall victim to the curse of teenage pregnancy; I didn’t have to “struggle” to survive; I was a church girl.... all of which translate into “that could NEVER happen to me”. So, what on earth could I have to complain about? The world was handed to me on a silver platter... right? Wrong!

I think one of the greatest misconceptions we allow to latch on to our psyche is that is could never be us. It could DEFINITELY be you! Take that and add it to your Rolodex of motivation AND caution. That bad thing they talk about could happen to you, so protect yourself, be cautious but live life in spite of fear. On the same hand that amazing thing that they tell you could never happen to you because of who you are or what you look like could happen to you; don’t count yourself out of the blessing God set up just for you because you think it couldn’t be you or because of the fear that it won’t happen the way you think it should happen. Things are going to happen to you as you progress through life, both good and bad, but you are strong enough to handle EVERYTHING God has laid out on your path to greatness.

Less than favorable things happen to us so we can pay that knowledge and experience forward to help somebody else. Don’t ever discount the impact or relevance of your story; if anything, you should oversell it so it reaches the masses and lands among the worthy and the deserving. I am not a product of my environment. I am a product in spite of it. THAT is my truth. There are things I’ve endured that I will share one day to prove to that little black girl growing up similar to how I did, she can do it too.

Every single person reacts to traumatic situations differently. Doesn’t matter if the circumstances are exactly the same there is always the possibility of alternative outcomes for every scenario. Who you are does not justify ANYTHING you go through. We are all a unique combination of experiences that shaped us into the beautiful beings we are. Don’t let those speed bumps prevent you from getting to your destination, just slow down and take a little more time to conquer that obstacle.

My motivation walking into this new decade is not “New Year, New Me”; it’s more of “new year, new experiences.” What’s next? How can I improve who I am and not attempt to be a different version of myself or a version the world will better accept? I’m determined to hold courage ahead of my fear and figure out how to rebound from the failure after it comes. 

I admit it will be hard; having contingencies for every possibility is a trait of my character, but nothing worth having comes easy. 

Be kind to yourself. That includes believing you can do all of the things you put your mind to.

Be D.O.P.E. and Happy New Year!