Ships of a New Wave
Platonic friendships!
I don’t know how many times I’ve heard they don’t exist, BUT I am living proof that they can and do exist! I don’t know what came over me and made me want to dedicate an entire post to this, but it’s honestly very important to me as a woman to acknowledge the epidemic that men and women can’t just be friends.
I’ve always had a hard time with humans of the opposite sex teetering the line on viewing me as a romantic interest vs just a friend that happens to be a girl. It has been a trigger to some of my insecurities for large portions of my life and I am finally rid of the backward thoughts I’d have that stemmed from this.
I can admit I’m blessed in certain areas of my anatomy that make me “eye candy” or “desirable” to men. It’s been a headache for quite some time, and I know there are plenty of women that understand exactly where I’m coming from with this. It makes it hard to form true friendships with men that are based on a familial connection rather than an opportunistic connection.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s cool having the attention of men, but men these days are too aggressive and defensive when you don’t display their level of affection back or don’t respond to their presentation of interest the way they want you to. News flash, my reactions to your advances are not your business. The same way I can get curved by somebody I like and keep it pushing, so can you.
Not the focus of the blog for today, however, so let me not get lost in that.
I’m thankful for the guys I’ve called brothers that actually stood behind being my more than blood sibling and/or a form of protector to my femininity and innocence as a woman of nurturing nature. I’m actually thankful to the guys that acknowledge my love of video games, anime, sarcasm, and style but don’t automatically translate that into me being the perfect soulmate for them, especially when they are not what I want in a life partner.
I think I’ve been truly blessed with one human in particular that has proven this outrageous assumption, that men and women can’t been just friends, to be wrong.
One of my absolute best friends and favorite people in the world is a man. We’ve never had any type of romantic feelings towards each other and honestly never will, LOL. He is my favorite person to hit up when I need advice, even though he doesn’t always give the best advice… which isn’t that he gives bad advice, he just does that thing guys do when they don’t have anything to say and will shrug it off because it’s truly not a big deal in his mind. I appreciate him for that though! It’s nice understanding how men differ in thinking from us as women, and it helps me move forward knowing when things aren’t quite as big a deal as they may appear to me.
For now he will remain nameless… I’m debating on if I’m going to address him by his real name or by one of the many nicknames he has acquired in life. If you knew him, you’d understand why that’s a debate I must have in my mind before choosing to do so publicly, LOL.
Reason 1 why we will NEVER be romantically interested in one another is based on how we met. His best friend/brother is someone I used to date, and based on how we both think that’s honestly the glue that will always keep us platonic friends.
I understand there are some people out there that don’t believe in unspoken rules about dating exes friends or friends exes but the belief is strong over here. Me and Best (yes, that’s his name) strongly believe in the bonds we create with our friends that have become our family, which is a commonality that all of our friends tend to share (to my knowledge anyway). Thankfully, this made him the perfect person I could confide in with my life and call my brother. Well, actually what makes him perfect are our similar tendencies, thoughts, and personalities. He’s also a cancer (birthday 3 days after mine, yes, I’m older) and is one of the DOPEst guys I’ve ever met.
And the best part is! I never have to worry about him looking at me in any weird ways because I’m not his type and he’s not my type!
I don’t want to make his head too big with all of these compliments, but I definitely wanted to give a shout out to Wale (not the rapper, also, not his real name) for always being a dope little brother and such an amazing listener when I need somebody to talk to. We don’t talk everyday, we don’t see each other all the time, but we know our bond and love each other just like the family God blessed us to be. I don’t have a large group of close friends, but I don’t need a large group. I’m just glad he wants to be a part of my family and loves me the way he does.
I say all that to emphasize platonic friendships are possible, and not just with some guy/girl that has an interest first but things don’t work out for whatever reason. Embrace those friendships and don’t listen to the pressures of the world that say these types of friendships exist or try to write them off as exceptions to the rule.
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY LITTLE BRO! (Don’t worry I wished him Happy Birthday on his actual day, LOL) The last 5 years have been amazing and I can’t wait to see how far we go with this lifetime friendship we’ve be blessed with!
Wale is, also, a host on Unfiltered The Podcast, go check the guys out for a male perspective on a multitude of random topics they discuss about society and culture with a nice comedic feel. They celebrated a year not too long ago so go listen on Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/unfilteredthepodcast, and follow them on IG @unfilteredthepodcast.
Be D.O.P.E.