Chapter 28

Well… today is my birthday and I find myself reflective for another year.

Twenty-eight… wow.

Am I where I thought I’d be at 28? Absolutely not! LOL I was just having this conversation with one of my adopted older sisters not too long ago. The road we envisioned is nothing like the road we’re driving on, BUT, that’s okay!

I mainly want to take a minute to be thankful for making it here. I am proudly a 28 year old black woman with a full-time job, healthy, surrounded by people that love me unconditionally (both near and far geographically), with no kids, my dream car, ambition so great it’s too hard to hide, positively exploring my passions, and rooted in faith that keeps me moving forward with strength. I am more than what society wishes I would be, and I am rarely stopped by other people’s opinions of me… I’m human, don’t judge.

It seems surreal to be able to write this, but today I want to announce the development of my first poetry book! It feels like it’s taken a lifetime to get here, but I am so thankful for the people in my circle that have helped me get the ball rolling on this dream of mine that has been in the works for more than half of my life now.

Last week I wrote a letter to my dad about all of the emotions I experience without him.

This week, I write a love letter to me…

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My DOPE Queen,

I remember thinking it wasn’t long ago when you first dreamt up my lifestyle. I, also, remember thinking it wasn’t too long ago when I didn’t think I deserved this life style. I know you’ve had so many dreams and aspirations through the years, so, let me refresh your memory of what I’m speaking of… freedom.

You looked forward to a time when you could breathe. You must remember that the air in our mind wasn’t always so clear. It was filled with loneliness and dark thoughts; nightmares of deaths… and we wanted to give up, but look at us now. How could we ever think we wouldn’t make it?

You don’t have to answer that question because I already know what you’re saying… it was easy. It was easy to be pessimistic in a world lacking positivity. Kind thoughts were hard to come by in a world of misconception and abandonment. But chin up.. we made it!

We thought love was a figment of our imagination.
Unaware of the power we held within us of creation.

I’m here to tell you, you are amazing.
Through the fire, you found your footing to develop the right craving.

I wanted to write you a letter to remind you what we’re worth.
We may have been broken, battered, and bruised, but with our presence, this Earth, we’ve blessed it.

Trials and tribulations have scattered themselves along the path. We are more than the sum of our parts, more valuable than mistakes of our past. Your mind is like gold, passion like water… how could I say I love you if I let you sit and falter.

Truth is, my love is all you needed and I’m sorry… I placed it in the hands of the wrong people. Trusted blindly and put you in jeopardy of those that can’t go where we’ll go.

I’m taking a moment to reminisce, and remind myself how we made it. Although, the years of struggle outweigh the years of bliss, you my dear are quite a creation. Born in the fire of transformation, molded by pure will and protected with patience.

Don’t.

Be.

Anxious.

There will be times of confusion and you’ll want to doubt everything you know, but God did not write your character for you to be killed off this show.

You are the point of interest, the headliner… the main event in a world of preludes.
The world thought they were ready for you… but don’t want to acknowledge, they lose if we lose.

We live in a world of no’s and misjudgments. Constantly appreciated for the things that are cosmetic and mean next to nothing to us, but you don’t let that stop you.

You never let that stop you and I’m thankful.

Your resilience is unmeasured. Centered around DOPEness of new levels. To be understood is much to be desired but, understand, the world will not always find you welcome.

You are of black skin, thick thighs, strong opinions… You hair is loc’d and decisions unwritten.
You want to love and your dedication is ill hidden.

BUT!

There is no one that can take your purpose… God told me, it’s forbidden.

I know there’s someone out there like you, that needed this letter of love. Remember to share your light and beauty, on that they cannot put a ceiling above.

For those other worries you find yourself questioning and wondering over. He is looking for you, baby girl, and will let nothing stand in front of his path. You will be an amazing friend, wife, and mother. He will fulfill your desires birthed from God. He will not stop until the barrier you have built is conquered, and will require no exceptions that would lower the excellence of his job.

You are moving into new pastures with streets unwalked and outcomes brand new.

Don’t forget, at the end of the day… I will ALWAYS be here with you.

Happy Birthday…

Love,
You

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Be DOPE Queen.