Black Love is Timeless

Nothing.

In this world.

Is more beautiful.

Than Black Love.

Let’s start with the fulfilling fantasies of walking down an isle one day to say “I Do” to the person of your dreams. Then fast forward to the daydreams of becoming so emotionally and spiritually intertwined with somebody that you fall in love and spend the rest of your life with them. Everybody wants it, honestly everybody needs it… so why’s it so hard to get to? Our expectations are built on fantasy instead of reality…

Don’t get me wrong… the man that holds the door for you, helps you out of the car, cooks dinner, does the dishes, and walks on the side of the sidewalk closest to traffic does exist. And no… it’s not only the men from the south that practice what’s often known as southern hospitality. They do pursue you and make you their priority when they know what they want and are at that point in their life. Some men… never get to that point.

There are so many debates going on about how race isn’t everything and how dating preferences are wrong (love is love), but they aren’t. They are a part of life, a larger part being… only a black man can love me the way I can love him. I have nothing against men of any other race, I look at and admire them from time to time just the same, but there’s just something about a dark chocolate man that gets my twists in a whirl.

Live your life in the reality of black love instead of in the fantasy of it. Love is complicated and comes with so much more than just itself. I am a culprit of creating these fantasies based off of a reality of “potential”. I’ve also been a culprit of remaining in a relationship because I am a woman of my word and if I say I love you and I’m willing to fight for us, that means staying through thick and thin. What I have come to learn in my late 20s is Love is just that… and then comes the rest. Allowing somebody to terrorize my heart, mind, and spirit because I pray they’d one day cherish what we have, the way I do, is the fantasy. Allowing myself to walk away and rebuild my mind, body and spirit from something that was not created for me, is reality.

Men are not evil… yes, there are some men that are malicious and will waste your time if you let them, but that is not the basis of man; and while I’m on that, there are some women that are just as malicious and manipulative as men are painted to be. We have to stop the negative commentary that black men ain’t -ish and black women are mean, nasty, and too much to deal with. That narrative is created as a tactic to prevent us from loving one another and building black families and powerhouses that will compete with the privileged that are currently running the world.

The black love era that we have entered is so amazingly beautiful and deserves to be celebrated!

As I get older, I notice things change and the only reason I know the stories are changing with my age and not with circumstances is because of younger sisters I have taxed with the same nonsense I once experienced at their age. The talk around black love, black fathers supporting their families, and black women supporting their men is 10 times different at 27 than it was at 21 and I’m truthfully thankful of that. Black love is so amazing, uplifting, inspirational, D.O.P.E., and creates a safe haven for me and the dreams that I had at a young age to find a love sculpted just for me.

I think it’s really amazing how energies work to connect us to new people, things, ideas, and movements. When I began to move into a space of peace and happiness while I was single and becoming more and more comfortable in my skin the way God made me, romance began to sprinkle itself into my purview, and the scope of the black love movement really opened up to me. I found it being placed onto my social media timelines, was introduced to new people and couples to follow to witness their experiences, and I noticed the chatter and talk of black love developing for my friends and family more than it had been before. All stemming from a peace and increase in the love I had for myself and my sister friends that surround me daily.

The more I find comfort in being out of my comfort zone my desire’s of marriage and family increase. I want to have kids and share a life with the one man God has molded for me to grow old and experience life with. It’s a blessing to have such amazing role models on what black love and marriage can be and how it can come along to help me acknowledge and accept it when it presents itself to me.

I have to admit I have developed quite the marriage crush on Khadeen and Devale Ellis, but I truly can’t help it, they’re so inspirational and attractive… the family is really gorgeous, LOL. Seeing them live their best lives and then take the time out to share their blessing with us is so beautiful to me. They change the narrative of love for me from being this fairy tale that only some get, to this realistic and attainable goal that is available for any of us. There is a man out there that will pick on you, make fun of you, lift you up, support and encourage you the way Devale does for Khadeen… THAT alone is powerful.

Black women fall into thoughts that we aren’t good enough for something that beautiful and amazing because we often come into contact with men that are not equally yolked with us, and when those ties break we feel we’ve lost a piece of ourselves because it didn’t make us feel all the “good” things we expected; which turns into self doubt and self shaming. A man will not tear down his queen or leave her feeling less than, and that’s, that hands down. I know of the downfalls of failed relationship after failed relationship because I’ve been there. I’ve given my all to something that I thought was greater than me but only turned out to be a placeholder, but after growing from those things I have developed the courage to accept life for what it is and continue to move on.

Every man is not destined to be your Prince Charming… one more time, every man is not destines to be your Prince Charming.

I believe there is one man out there destined to uplift me as the Queen God blessed me to be, and I do not agree with the microwavable generation that thinks marriage is a revolving door. It takes patience, hard work, dedication, communication, and honesty to make a relationship work and I’ve never been married so I won’t preach on how to sustain a healthy marriage, but I can give my insight on why I feel marriages these days don’t last. People get too caught up in the fantasy and don’t accept the reality that Love comes with fights, disagreements, moments that aren’t so pretty, and moments where you will feel less than. The difference between your fantasy being broken and experiencing reality, is if you’re abandoned at that less than feeling. When somebody respects you enough to not walk away from the ugly things that appear in a relationship and won’t leave you feeling less than, indefinitely, recognize the blessing you have.

There is the boy that will let you think you were everything wrong with the relationship and then there is the man that will make sure you know neither of you is perfect and you both ALWAYS have things you can improve on. Don’t stick with boy because you have to prove him wrong and be right… wait for the man that will help you be better which is more important than being right. Earn the love you seek by being compatible to the man you desire.

And please, please, please don’t turn into the woman that thinks “since he didn’t love me, nobody will.” That’s not true unless you make it true and words are powerful, you have to speak what you want to manifest in real life, and that ain’t it sweetie. Black love really is timeless so don’t give up on it.

Be D.O.P.E. black girl!