Vulnerable Times...

Moment of honesty…

Dealing with the COVID-19 Pandemic has been a rough reality.

Sunday isn’t my normal day for posting but today has been a bit of a rough one for me (side bar this may not go up until Monday, I've been trying to write this for hours soooo, yea, bare with me).

First I’d love to start by saying Happy Easter, and I hope you are enjoying your time with your loved ones and family members. You may not be reading this until tomorrow, so if you took the time to come here thank you and I hope your Easter was blessed and filled with love and thankfulness.

Today, I found out that my childhood Preacher, Bishop Gerald O. Glenn, passed away from health issues including a positive diagnosis for COVID-19.

One of the greatest things I learned from him is the importance of using a platform if you have one to influence and impact the community. I haven’t been blogging much in my time of being home and I’ve honestly been going back and forth with myself on that, and then this happened. If you’re doing the same, it is okay to not know exactly how to operate in times like this. One thing to keep in mind, appreciate the day.

In this time of uncertainty and anxiety I urge you to hang on to the good times and thank God for everyday he breathes air into our lungs and allows us the chance to make the right decisions, love on the people we need to, and impact the world with the reach and in the way that he’s blessed us to.

For today I wanted to take the time to reflect on the amazing man of God Bishop Glenn was and how he lived the life that he preached about.

29/30 years ago my family moved out of New York to head south away from the dangers of the city, and in their attempts to find safety in times of uncertainty Bishop Glenn and his family provided aid and assistance to mine. From that point on he became an extremely influential role model in my life. From encouraging my growth to supporting my family in the low times of life such as death and mourning, he stepped into the light for me and became a beacon of hope and encouragement.

I was reminded today of how he held me in the pulpit as a baby and I started to cry. Unexpectedly, here I am at 28 triggered with faint reminders of the day I lost my father 16 years ago. All day I’ve been replaying memories of growing up in his church and wondering how I would ever find a pastor to feed my spirit the way he always did. Even now I struggle with looking for, let alone finding a church home with the integrity I knew while being raised under this great man.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand the confusion of people and things that become idolized and worshipped, but he was never that. He was a father figure before anything else for me. A true example of what the type of man I seek to add value and protection to my life will be. I’ve witnessed him demand nothing more than faith and trust in God my entire life as he’s battled with illness and survived, presided over weddings and christenings, and did everything in his power to remain not only a blessed vessel for God, but a towering guide of peace and love for his family.

My heart goes out to them. A lot of people from my mother’s congregation are mourning their spiritual father, but his family has to now grow and move through life with the acceptance of loss for their daddy, grandaddy, and husband. My heart goes out to them because I know all too well the hills and valley’s of that reality.

Today, I remember a man of great stature, positivity, ugly truth that’s necessary for growth, and compassion for all of God’s children. He lived his life in a manner that created a legacy of his wisdom and character. No matter how much it hurts for us, I know he was not afraid to leave this Earth because he was always prepared to earn his wings for the job well done he knew God sent him here to do.

We are dealing with heartache in a new sense that is being weighed down with loss and the acceptance of a present day that doesn’t allow us to hug the people we love, embrace the people that hurt, and bury the people we’re losing. But… and I say this with so much hope in my heart… funerals are for the living. It’s easy to say, hard to live, but do your best to focus on the good times and memories you have. Connect with those you can, while you can. They may be gone, and I know we miss them, but they’re suffering no longer. They’ve been blessed to be pulled out pain and the frustrations of now, so they can rest and become angels that will now look over us.

Life is too short to dwell on what you could, should, and would have done… especially when you get to a place where nothing can be done to change those things.

I believe it was under Bishop that I learned death is not a time to mourn the loss, but rather THEE time to celebrate life.

We are strong, we are loved, and we are not alone… even if you run into times of feeling lonely.

If you’ve loss someone, my heart and prayers are with you. If you know of someone fighting to make it to tomorrow, whether it’s COVID related or not, my heart and prayers are with you.

It’s a hard time right now, for all of us, but the people around us need our DOPE especially right now. Don’t lose it.

To my New Deliverance family, I love you and I’m thankful for the bonds we’ve built under the teachings and love of Bishop Glenn.

To the beautiful Glenn family, thank you for sharing your world and your guardian with us, because we needed him, but he was nothing without God and YOU.

I am working my hardest to stay up, stay faithful, and stay strong. I, like everyone, have my moments of weakness but I think I’m doing pretty well considering the circumstances.

Thank you for sharing in my time of reflection and remembering a special piece of my world as I do my best to accept this new reality.

Be D.O.P.E., stay strong, and know that I love you.