Black People Don't Need Therapy...
Worst myth I’ve EVER heard in my life… black people don’t need therapy.
I hear so often that black parents passed this belief on to their kids. I didn’t personally experience being told that therapy wasn’t for me as a black girl, but the lack of it as an option was definitely prevalent while growing up; especially now as I learn more and more about “grown folks business” that was occurring while I was young. Everybody could benefit from some therapy sessions even if you don’t think you have reason to go because everything in your life is unicorns and glitter. Nobody is perfect and everybody could use a little bit of help to understand feelings they have, feelings they don’t have, career desires/goals, friendships, relationships, purpose, mental health, and so many other things. The myth that black people don’t need therapy is the root cause behind why so many black people do need therapy. Bottling up experiences and pushing forward with unresolved issues will eat away at anybody, and news flash, we’re humans too.
Mental health is a controversial topic for black families. It’s misunderstood, or simply not willing to be understood, all too often and we need to stop putting our children through that. In house issues are supposed to stay in house and not be shared with anybody outside the household. Unfortunately, the reality is this world that we live in is not as happy go lucky as we would like it to be and you won’t always be able to protect your kids from the horrors that come with it, but the one thing you can do is encourage them to seek help when it’s needed. The most important thing about mental health and stability is being self aware of your struggles, and knowing when it’s time to find help. The best gift you can give to your children is the comfort of knowing it’s okay to talk to a trained and licensed professional about your mental health and past trauma’s, without it being frowned upon.
I have a few close friends that have taken control of their mental health walks and molded them into what they dictate it to be rather than letting those struggles control their lives. They’ve chosen to be aware of who they are, what they struggle with, and how they can succeed with their mental health rather than being somebody that suffers with anxiety, PTSD, depression, or any of the other mental health titles that are out there. The most helpful thing you can do for somebody that struggles with this is understanding anybody could struggle with these things. This is not something that is assigned at birth and handed to every 4th boy or girl born in a three day time span. Mental health issues are things that are developed from nurture (or lack there of), traumatic experiences, neglect, birth, and all different types of experiences that can affect the psyche. I’m not a psychologist but you don’t need to be one to understand everyone should be afforded the same support and encouragement to find self support and mental health no matter the magnitude of assistance that is needed.
People are taken advantage of because of disabilities at all stages of life and that’s unfortunate. Take Korey Wise for example, since When They See Us and the Central Park 5 phenomenon is still a hot topic. He was exploited for his disabilities by adult cops and locked up for 14 years because he couldn’t protect himself from the predators coming after him. There is even reference to mental health in fictional TV series like “The Chi,” when Kevin is sent to therapy after the truth comes out that he witnessed another young black boy being shot by an older black man. I believe the dialogue around therapy and mental health awareness is shifting in the black community, and all I can say to that is it’s about time; it’s taken all too long to say to our black brothers and sisters it’s okay to need help. Please accept this as the support you may have been looking for and the push you may need to go see a counselor or therapist to talk about whatever may be ailing you.
I personally need to get back to it, but I find this blog to be a type of release and therapy for me as well; outlets of expression will help you out as well. Find something that helps release the pressure and the tension that builds up from work to home life. The point is, YOUR mental health is something you have to make YOUR priority. The world will drain you and accept all of the energy you pour into it, but if you don’t take the time to find energy to pour back into yourself you’ll burn out, break down, and freak out. Sometimes waking up and just getting out of the bed is hard… I have friends that struggle with that and I’m thankful when I have the energy to push through those feelings.
I personally suffered from anxiety that I never had diagnosed in college and in turn that made me fall in and out of depression for years because of traumatic circumstances in college that changed me. I can vividly remember having at least one anxiety attack per semester while at Howard, I was anti-social, couldn’t force myself to go out and live the life that most of my peers tried to portray as a successful social college career, and I felt alone most of the time until I found that group of friends that made me feel not so alone. A lot of people didn’t understand what anxiety was and they felt all I had to do was “just” calm down. Things that you can “just” do, don’t come easy for everybody else all the time. Before speaking, try being understanding and compassionate first, you don’t know how delicate a situation is until you’re informed and when you speak out of ignorance rather than understanding you close doors to loved ones that you may truly care for and want to help. Take yourself out of the situation and what you think you would do if it were you because you never truly know what your reaction will be until it’s you.
Check on that friend that always seems to have it together or that friend that always appears to be smiling and happy go lucky… they need support too.
For any of you wondering where to start to find help check out some of these resources below:
If your employer provides these benefits check into your Employee Assisted Program (EAP). You can google this to learn more information about it as well and it should be included in your benefits package, if offered, to determine how you can contact the provider and set up your first session. Some of these program will provide a certain number of sessions free before you have to start paying your co-pay if you choose to continue with your sessions after you complete employer paid sessions. Note: An EAP is a voluntary, work-based program that offers free and confidential assessments, short-term counseling, referrals, and follow-up services to employees who have personal and/or work-related problems (Source: www.opm.gov).
Also, if you participate in your employer offered benefits you can search their database of medical professionals which will normally have a section to search in network specialists covered by your health insurance. Check into your employee benefits for this information and utilize it; you’re paying for it already.
This gem was provided to me by some of my business mentors (specific to black women, started by a black woman): https://www.therapyforblackgirls.com/
This site is specific for black men, and was also started by a black woman: https://therapyforblackmen.org/
If you or anybody you love could benefit from this information pass it along! If you really love somebody you’ll encourage them to take care of themselves and if you love yourself you’ll take the first step to take care of yourself.
Be D.O.P.E., healthy, and self aware black people!