Single As a Pringle

Up until I reached approximately 26, being single had always seemed to be this horrible and lonely concept to me. After reaching 26, it really seemed like a punishment. After I got over being dramatic, LOL, I realized it was a blessing. Of course I want to get married and have kids one day, but right now, I’m happy with myself. I never would have reached the level of clarity and peace I have while being in a relationship with any man, no matter how much I cared for him.

I am quickly approaching 28, which also means I’m quickly approaching 30, LOL. If you had asked me 10 years ago, I wanted to be married at 25 and would be travelling the world with my husband… the pressure we put on ourselves is unnatural sometimes. NOT being married at this point in time is probably my favorite part about my life. Becoming single after a long term relationship was the best thing I never knew I needed, and it gave me the strength to pick myself up and get moving on things that really mattered in life; my health, building a career, being more social, etc. Most importantly it taught me to never settle and to acknowledge things for what they are when the truth exposes itself to you.

Sometimes, we get attached to the idea that somebody is everything we need, but we should be everything we need for ourselves. I’ve been listening to Lizzo like crazy lately, Cuz I Love You is a D.O.P.E. album and you should check it out if you haven’t already. You might think at first glance it’s about loving some guy, but it’s not, it’s about Lizzo loving herself. I don’t ever want to be attached to the idea that a guy deserves all of my love again. I deserve every bit of myself first, and then maybe I’ll share with the deserving man God created me for.

In my singleness I’ve cried, I’ve missed things that I had, I’ve laughed, I’ve created, I’ve grown, and most importantly I boss’d up and became D.O.P.E. The truth of the matter is, it’s not fun being alone. Don’t choose loneliness, choose to be productive, choose to be busy, choose to work on yourself and enjoy those you do have around you, and try looking at your “freedom” in a positive light rather than a negative light.

I suffered from anxiety and abandonment for so long, it felt good to release that toxic energy from my mind, heart, and spirit. Over the last year, I have dated and chose what I will and will not tolerate; I’ve tried new things and decided what I do and don’t like; I’ve explored and found hobbies that interest and bore me; and I’ve chosen to live my life the way I want to without being worried about what other people think or feel about my decisions.

I have conquered that spirit of abandonment and embraced it as a blessing; nobody left me, God removed what needed to be removed from my life in a less than desirable way to get me to the desired destination.

I’ll say that one more time… GOD removed what needed to be removed from my life in a less than desirable way, to get me to the desired destination. And I accept his direction, fully. I have also grown to understand that sometimes things are removed from your life for a period of time and that doesn’t always mean it is permanent. Don’t count a loss, count the increase you receive after what appears to have been lost.

I. LOVE. MY. SELF.

Anybody that knows me knows the path I’ve walked down to get to this point and I just want to thank everybody that has been in my corner at any given point of time to help keep me going and pushing forward. Embrace being single if you are. It’s okay to want to share something special with somebody else, but what can you effectively give to a relationship if you’re not yet satisfied with yourself and in a place where you can be happy sharing your time, space, and energy with somebody else?

Break-ups are not fun, don’t get me wrong, but don’t stay in a relationship with somebody simply because you are afraid of being alone. That also goes hand in hand with loving yourself and somebody else. Sometimes we have to make decisions that are controversial to others, but make sense and are logical decisions. Don’t make decisions with your emotions, that’s how you argue, yell, and fight. Be logical and pray on EVERYTHING, God will not steer you wrong.

I’m ready for the journey ahead and just wanted to take a second to really appreciate how far I’ve come and the changes I’ve endured to find my D.O.P.E.ness. I was born with it and nobody can take that away from me. I’ve found it in every aspect of my life and that’s because it’s made it’s way into my heart and being single just expands on that. I’m constantly trying to figure out what’s next and how to attain the next blessing coming to me because God is looking out! He said my Prince Charming is coming, I just have to wait it out.

Prince Charming, if you’re reading this, can’t wait to meet you! Make sure you have it together when you get to me because, although, I’m single as a pringle I can’t wait to mingle!

Be D.O.P.E. black girls