“What Are We?”
Relationships are hard…
“What are we?”
The classic question that makes most people, men and women alike, cringe because they can barely be committed to them self, so they DEFINITELY don’t want to be committed to you.
I’ve been in long term relationships that had no “official” title. I’ve been in relationships that required a title; as well as an official start and the important question I think we all wanted to ask or be asked at least once in life, “will you be my...” (feel free to insert your superlative).
I’ve always been a firm believer that the title doesn’t guarantee the commitment. If the person you want wants you back, title or no title, you’ll feel their commitment to you and only you, and vice versa. I’d love to say I wasn’t one of those girls that had the fairytale in mind of what a real relationship would look like, but I was. I’ve always known what I wanted and that was a partner. I even had physical attributes, interest, hobbies, likes/dislikes, and qualifying scenarios mapped out, LOL. Not far fetched, but the fairytale came in where I always wanted a high school or college sweetheart. Needless to say, that never happened for me.
Dating as an adult ALWAYS terrified me, for two main reasons: 1. I was worried I’d be too introverted or not open enough to actually meet someone and 2. I didn’t trust myself to truly be dedicated to one person FOREVER. I get bored easily, your girl is distracted by shiny stuff and hates when people want to talk to me while I’m trying to watch a movie or catch up on a tv show, lol. The biggest part was feeling the inadequacy of being “enough” for anybody for that long or thinking somebody could be enough for me and wind up letting me down somewhere along the way.
It’s easier to be alone...
I’m an interesting clump of contradictions, however, because being with someone... the right someone... turns me into a ride or die of sorts. When I love, I love hard and it’s confusing for me to understand how I can attach myself and be open to someone that wouldn’t feel the same level of dedication and determination to me. Which is why titles aren’t necessarily a “thing” for me.
I understand why they matter to others, though, especially someone who may have never had someone be dedicated to them in that manner. I know a lot of women who never had a title with anyone until recently, and I’ve seen the toll that can take on a person so willing to love and be misused by men that are “testing the waters” and dedicated to only “you” but not ready to commit... boy bye.
It’s too exhausting living in this generation where someone says certain things to you but their actions don’t add up to their words. Between the people that want to be with you but “can’t” to the ones that tell you they don’t want you but treat you like you’re “theirs”. Stop playing the fence! Polygamy is a thing, research it and let these partners you have decide if that’s the life they want to live with you, but also if you’re just hoeing around say that too, lol. On the same hand, don’t be in a relationship just to be in one… don’t be in a relationship for the other person if it’s not what you truly want… and don’t be in a relationship just because the world thinks your situation is one thing when it’s something completely different. Crazy part is I wrote this weeks ago, and it’s so relevant to what’s going on with me right now…
I’ve always been curious about other peoples stance and ideas when it comes to titles, so what does your heart desire while dating today? Are you looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend? Are you looking for someone to call your partner? Are you at a place where you’re trying to have fun and don’t want to be tied down to just one person? Are you committed forever and know nothing’s going to break up what you’ve established with your one person? I’d love to hear! Share below or comment on my IG post for this blog!
Be D.O.P.E.!