Is Enough, Enough?

I’ve been trying to determine how one decides when enough is enough and it’s time to move on from a certain situation? How long do you wait to try a new avenue and find a better way of happiness? What are the deciding factors between waiting to see if better opportunities present themselves through your hard work vs going out and searching for better opportunities to create for yourself?

I haven’t found the answer for any of these questions yet, but I know it’s different for each individual. I realize that I spend a lot of time putting hard work into something under the impression that once enough time and effort is invested, in will come new opportunities and the next steps to increase my current status.

I like to believe I’m a nice cross between old school and new school. Loyalty to things is important to me, but being appreciated and treated according to my worth means just as much. I’m having this battle in a few areas of my life but the largest area is work. I don’t typically like to brag about myself but I’m a great employee, I’m dedicated to the work I do even if it’s not as exciting to me as it may be to others, I pay close attention to detail, and I’m always ready to handle whatever matter is dropped in my lap. However, I’m lacking fulfillment in my current position. I’m ready for the next level in my career to take off, or at least to be compensated for the level of work that I do to accommodate the lifestyle I believe I should be able to live with the effort I invest in myself.

The thing about finding new jobs, however, is starting over. You have to learn new tasks, people, management styles, and what they require of you. All of that honestly triggers my anxiety and makes me want to stay content where I am because I’m confident in what I can do where I am. Don’t get me wrong, I know I’m capable of doing more, I’m not as confident in my attitude, LOL.

I’ve found that we as black women will underestimate ourselves and count ourselves out of opportunities for that very reason. Because we’re seen as “angry” and “aggressive” when all we want are the same opportunities as those around us, and to be respected in the same manner as everyone else around us is. The best way I’ve heard it before is, people need to understand we’re (black women) not angry, we’re just passionate.

The real reason I haven’t been looking is I’m waiting for a specific opportunity to present itself that I’ve been told will present itself eventually. I don’t like to move before God tells me to, but sometimes I do have to question if I’m waiting for God or am I waiting for “the right time”. Truth is, right now is always the right time to try. Acting on what offers I receive will be up to God and his will for me, but I have to at least try. Sometimes we think his plan is one thing, when he really wanted us to step out of our comfort zone and try something next level, above and beyond what we THOUGHT was the next step.

I actually just passed along this advice to my best friend and realized I need to follow the advice myself: worrying about if God wants you to do something could prevent you from doing a lot of things he did want you to do. You can’t fear making the wrong decision, we’re human. However, place your fear in not learning from mistakes that you will most definitely make and living in a cycle of bad choices that are similar to one another. God did not make us all knowing, therefore, we can only speculate on what we think he meant for our lives (when his reality has things even greater than we can imagine for ourselves) and try. The key word being “try”.

So often I hear people say failure shouldn’t be the disappointment, not getting back up and trying again should be. So, an even greater disappointment should be never trying at all. What happens when you don’t give yourself a chance to succeed? You miss out on every accomplishment, large or small, that was pre-destined for you.

Don’t stand in the way of your own happiness! Trust me, the world will stand in your way enough because of the color of your skin and your biology before even knowing what you can contribute to it.

With that being said, because this work example was only one way I tend to overlook doing better for myself, pay attention to your world and the choices you are making in all aspects of your life: career, relationships, goal setting, health, family, etc. If you’re not happy, do what you need to do to change that. Take a step in the right direction to rid your life of toxicity and fill it with appreciation and positivity.

I’m working on it too, trust me.

Be D.O.P.E.